You know, as much as I talk about the wonder of the juice train, as much as I stay a positive beacon for broccoli… sometimes I have a sucky day. Sometimes, it just SUCKS.
Case in point: this morning’s Bikram class. My mind wouldn’t shut up.
I was positioned between these two Black Bikram Goddesses who wouldn’t know cellulite if it smacked them in the face. I was hot. I was annoyed with myself. I was annoyed with my image in the mirror. I thought, “Ugh. Damn knee injury. Knee won’t lock properly. How do they HONESTLY expect you to stay in these poses? Where’s my water? You look fat. Are those STRETCH MARKS? On your KNEES? Lord have mercy. This is ridiculous. Are we supposed to be bending this way? God didn’t mean for my body to bend this way. This is some bulls***. I’m not made for this crap. I’m too FAT for this crap. Three days out of 60 isn’t bad! You could give up now and no one would really care, would they? So what if you don’t finish. I want cheesecake. I know I hate cheesecake but I want some anyway. It’s so damn hot in here. Just lay down. Who cares if everyone else in class can do this stupid pose? I’m protesting. I’m protesting this pose. I’m protesting for all the fat newbies out there. I’m protesting the perfection of these two heifers next to me. I’m protesting this HEAT. Ugh. Ridiculous. Frickin’ frackin’ BIKRAM BULLS***!!!!!”
I swear, that’s exactly what I was thinking. I stayed in the room and got through the poses, but I sho’ nuff wasn’t happy about it.
And then I realized… it’s Day 3. DAY THREE.
When people ask me about how to move through a juice cleanse, I always tell them that Day 3 is the hardest. It’s the day that your body begins to rebel and good ol’ detox shows up. It’s often the day you have to slug through just to get it done. The day when you piss and moan and complain and bitch and want to reach for the first sugar-coated pork rind you can find. The Day Three Blues… and I guess that’s what hit me this morning.
I suppose that, with ANY major change you make, your mind will rebel against you at some point. The Old Carla is pissed that we have made this decision to bend our way to better health and riled up to show her extreme displeasure. The New Carla told her to shut up.